Do you ever get so lonely you start reading old messages from people you liked/loved at the time?
I delete them. I don’t really follow anyone on social media anymore but when I did, I deleted the messages and numbers from past loved ones. It’s not that I have a problem with them. It’s more that they or I may long for the relationship we used to have at some point. I know it would never go back to that. It’s unhealthy to keep that connection.
It’s funny because some people call us clingy and annoying in some ways it’s true. But the only reason we are/can be like that is because we were deprived of real human connection and attention. So like when we do ever experience this phenomenon it’s insane and feels good. And we just want to hold onto it as long as possible before it goes away and we have to go back to being an unnoticed, unappreciated, and ghost of a human being.
For I will be disappointed by my own expectations and hopes.
And I was disappointed at the end. I wish I wasn’t so naive and can see things clearly. I could’ve save myself a lot of embarrassment. But maybe the way it ended was the best one for me. I hope the next story will have better ending.
